The End

I decided to change my blog...everything. You can now have a little piece of me in my new blog www.rubified.blogspot.com Thank you for loving me.

Merry Christmas

There are millions of things I want to say. There are thousands of wishes I would like to make. But I do not know why I don't feel like doing either as much as did years ago when I was still a young little naive girl. To be certain, I never ran out of things to share, never ran out of wants I still desire to fulfill.

I think I lead a rather contented life despite not feeling the same. I am thankful, but still feel dissatisfied. There is something missing in my life, and no amount of diary entries, deep soul-searching, enlightening conversation with my friends, heartwarming movies...could help decipher that empty hole in myself. It has nothing to do with my singleton status, I can never be more glad about staying solo. It gave me more space to breathe, more time to organize myself into more beneficial activities, more focus on myself. However, the more I indulge myself into self-exploration, I begun to discover I am missing something.

How to go to Arts House?

By Car: Enter via 1 Old Parliament Lane. Parking spaces available at the current Parliament House, The Adelphi and the road side along Empress Place

By Bus:
North Bridge Road (Opposite Funan Centre or Outside MITA Building): 32, 51, 61, 63, 80, 103, 124, 145, 166, 174, 195, 197, 603, 851, 961
Collyer Quay (At, or Opposite Clifford Pier; Fullerton Square; Opposite Singapore Cricket Club or outside Victoria Concert Hall): 10, 70, 75, 100, 107,130, 131, 162, 167, 196, 605, 607, 608

By MRT:
From Raffles Place Station, take exit H and walk across Cavenagh Bridge. From City Hall Station, take exit B (in front of capitol building), turn left, walk towards Funan Centre and turn left again upon reaching the present Parliament house.
From Clark Quay Station, take exit E, cross the road in front, then turn left, upon reaching the Singapore River, turn right and walk towards the Victoria Memorial Clock Tower.

Original Souls by Replugged Music

Date: 20 Dec 08 (Sat)
Venue: Earshot Cafe @ The Arts House (Old Parliament House)
Time: 7.30pm --- Free Admission


I am going to perform a song I've written in Original Souls by Replugged Music School!

I started vocal training with Replugged after I graduated from TP earlier on this year, and was encouraged by Ms. Juliet Pang, my vocal teacher to finish the song 'Those Days' which I wrote when I was younger. Subsequently, I was enthralled to be given the opportunity to perform my song for the school's public event, Original Souls.

Original Souls will be held at Earshot Cafe, the Arts House (or Old Parliament House) in the evening. It showcases a handful of Replugged's talented musicians performing nothing more original than our own music & lyrics in different genres, languages, emotions, styles..

It is the first time I am performing a song I've written by myself. 'Those Days'... Hmmm... I think it is a beautiful song... a beautiful sad song? Initially when I heard it, I was surprised. It hardly resembled the angst-ridden rock I am usually drawn to. But I was amazed with the way it rang in my ears, it was something I always felt, but couldn't explain fully in words. The chorus was composed when I was still a teenager (probably when I was heartbroken), I thought that it was really heart-felt. The rest of the song was completed over a span of several weeks this year, after days of reminiscence, making noises and more.. The tunes came off easier than the lyrics. Sometimes I think I am more of an animal. Sounds seem to make more sense than words.

It shall be a magical evening filled with live music & voices that breaks your heart, and then, lifts you up to euphoria. Please come support us! And my song!!!

For more information about the event, please visit the Arts House's Event Calender.

Chocolate Affair @ Max Brenner's

(From left) Myself, Sarah' En, Karen, Pei Zhen,
Lynette, Joyce, Nurul & Cheryl

My exams are finally over. Thank God, it seemed like eternity. I expected to feel exceptionally elated but I wasn't. I think the exams totally drained out all my brain juice and nervous system, I could barely feel anything when I walked out of the exam hall. It was all still and hazy, not so much like a dream, nor like heaven, nor hell, it just felt nothing. Some of my classmates wore a long face, and it only made me feel even worst. How miserable...

But I managed bring myself back to reality again when I hung out with my fellow uni-mates @ Max Brenner's. Ohmigosh... Dark, hot, wet swirling sin to bring me back to sanity. Thank God I tagged along with them for their choco-pursuit, Max Brenner seriously serves heavenly sin. Yes, chocolate is one of the greatest sin in my life, it makes me feel soo..... hehehe... Of course, good food cannot go without good company.

"I HAD A TERRIFIC TIME WITH YOU, MY FRIENDS!!! MY GREATEST GRATITUDE TO LYNETTE FOR SHARING MAX BRENNER'S SIN WITH US! AND ALSO WHOEVER DISCOVERED BRAD PITT AT THE BACK OF 'IS MAGAZINE'! LOL!"

I'm Fucking Matt Damon, then Ben Affleck

I came across these videos about the two sexiest men, and childhood friends ever, when I trying to unwind during revision, it was fuckin' awesome!!!

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

"This story was inspired by a remark of Mark Twain’s to the effect that it was a pity that the best part of life came at the beginning and the worst part at the end."

Don't Judge

After two decades of rubbing my shoulders with masses of lovely and ugly characters in life, I discovered the ultimate mechanism that allows relationships to be built, teamwork to exist and love to sustain is by not judging. The happiest, and the luckiest people, live their lives that way because they don't judge.

Why not? Because it is better if you don't. People who do, and when they do, they somehow start to look ugly. Just plain ugly. I finally understood why I feel horrid when I start making judgments about others, or when others do, on people we know, even on distant celebrities like Paris Hilton.

I d0 not say judging is wrong. In fact, our ability to judge is the very phenomenon that differentiate humans from animals. We have a brain, and it works. We use it to judge for our survival and well-being. In many cases, our unique ways of judgments empower us, even making ourselves notable for the powerful judgments that can change perceptions, change the world.

However, everything has its limits. Good judgment comes in handy for the corporate world. Good decision-making requires good judgment. But Love do not judge. Relationships cannot be based on judging. Friendships, partnerships, teamwork cannot work if you keep on judging. As a team leader, continuous judgments about your members will only distress the group's ability to reach its optimal performance.

Don't judge the fellow who is different. Don't judge the fella everyone seems to express hate. Don't judge because you do not have the credibility to judge. Learn to love, judge quietly and keep your mind open. Judge lovingly. Because if you don't, you are only on the losing side.

Sorry bloggees, I have been too caught up with my work recently to update my blog. Before I start rambling on, I wanna share this article from Donald Trump. I am a huge fan. Because he says real shit, simple but real shit that is, that gets into your head for good, ya know.


Asking Questions
Posted: 08 Oct 2008 07:15 AM CDT
by Donald J. Trump

People who are around me will often comment that I ask a lot of questions--all the time. One reason is that I want to know as much as I can about everything, Another reason is sometimes I need to know how much or how little someone else knows. But mostly it’s because I’m curious.

A few years ago I received a letter from my kindergarten teacher. I can remember her, and she obviously remembered me. She told me in her letter that I asked more questions than any student she’d ever had in her entire career as a teacher, which spanned several decades. That’s what she remembered most about me. I wrote back to her that some things never change--that to this day, I still ask a lot of questions. But I explained that this trait has served me well, and I also thanked her for her patience way back when. I’m sure I wasn’t an easy student.

Here’s my point: Questions can cut to the core very quickly and can ultimately save everyone time. I often ask myself questions to keep things clear in my mind. One good one to ask yourself is “What am I pretending not to see?” That can bring blind spots to the surface quickly. Another question to ask yourself is “Are my actions in line with my goal plan?” That question can restore your focus and fast.

I hadn’t yet heard about Albert Einstein when I was in kindergarten, but in later years I discovered this quote from the man himself: The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. Little did I know I was following his advice. Take my advice as well--it works. Keep up the curiosity quotient and it will serve you well.

T@^GLed in DE cLuB!

I had a 'HELLUVCLUBBA' TANGY 20 B'DAY!!!

Thank you so much, everyone of you, who spent my 20th birthday with me. Without you, it wouldn't have been so tangy and all!

Lesby Ruby?

Sept babies!
Bel, Sham (my PTL!!!) & me

Thank you, Jokerz!!!
Hot wet muackies for y'all!!!

Elliot, my mystery cop came along!

This is my new friend, Sloppy... (Aloy's fella),
who is looking as he is. Lol.

Aloy!!! My bratwurst chef! O.o

Chillin' @ Zouk

Caught in the act @ dbO
(we were featured in clubpriority!)

Tangy Twenty: Ruby going 20 @ Zouk!!!

I intend on going 20 to be a tangy affair!!!

I feel a lil jaded. I can't believe I have been stuck in this world for almost two decades. Stuck. Yea... I feel stuck because I never knew why I exist. Not that I roam around this world aimlessly, but I always wanted to know exactly why. Interestingly, I managed to invent some reasons to convince myself why I am here, and managed to deceive myself for almost two decades. Even more interestingly, I knew it all along since I was a kid, that I was just lying to myself. No wonder some Good Charlotte's lyrics said 'but chu'll find out, that in this world, it's just an idiots' parade.'

I am a bloody idiot. Sometimes I think I am more contented being one. Now that I am approach the beginning of my third decade, I think it is time for me to start trying to re-define what sort of idiot I shall become. I am totally obsessed with the word 'tangy' recently, so I decided, why not live up to my random obsessions for once. (I just hope that when the next decade of my life arrives, I would not hammer my poor head against the wall, but try kissing my ass instead, for being tangy.)

Let's take a look at the definition of 'Tangy' from Merriam-Webster Dictionary.

Tangy??? O.O

Main Entry: Tang
Pronunciation: \ˈtaŋ\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, of Scandinavian origin; akin to Old Norse tangi point of land, tang
Date: 15th century

1: a projecting shank, prong, fang, or tongue (as on a knife, file, or sword) to connect with the handle
2 a: a sharp distinctive often lingering flavor b: a pungent odor c: something having the effect of a tang (as in stimulation of the senses)
3 a: a faint suggestion : trace b: a distinguishing characteristic that sets apart or gives a special individuality
4: any of various surgeonfishes — compare blue tang



Hmmm... Interesting. I shall create my effect of TANG to stimulate your senses (soon) to commemorate my twentieth birthday. SHARP, DISTINCTIVE & LINGERING shall be my middle names in the near future.

This year, 2008, I am celebrating my birthday @ Zouk!!! Together with the RMIT-SIM 'THE VERY WHITE BLING BLING BASH'!!!

Date: 6 Sept 08 (Sat)
Venue: Zouk
Time: 7.30pm onwards (De night is always YOUNG for CLUBBA RUBY.)
Dress Code: White & BLING
Bash Fee: $23
Other Information: Open to public. And, remember my birthday present!!!

Sensorium by Epica

Sensorium
By Epica

Chance doesn't exist
But the path of life is not totally so predestined
And time and chronology show us how all should be
In the ways of existence
To find out why we are here

Being conscious is a torment
The more we learn is the less we get
Every answer contains a new quest
A quest to non existence, a journey with no end

No one surveys the whole, focus on things so small
But life's objective is to make it meaningful
Only searching for this
That which doesn't exist
Although our ability to relativize remains unclear

I'm not afraid to die
I'm afraid to be alive without being aware of it

I'm so afraid to, I couldn't stand to
Waste all my energy on things
That do not matter anymore

Our future has already been written by us alone
But we don't grasp the meaning
Of our programmed course of life
Our future has already been wasted by us alone
And we just let it happen and do not worry at all

We only fear what comes
And smell death every day
Search for the answers that lie beyond

~

All thanks to Hui Jie (for introducing me to the band & expanded my music horizon) & Zam (for mentioning Epica), I am totally addicted to Epica ever since.

The combination of the female soprano lead and the menacing male growls, classical and rock, passion(during the recording) and hopelessness (from the lyrics) is heavenly.

Ruby Tan has FALLEN DOWN, FALLEN DOWN, FALLEN DOWN...

Sarah & Ray came by to see my wrecked ankle.
That's why I did not look so agonized. =.=

I can't believe I fell down again...
I don't know why am I so clumsy...
Some say coz I'm left-handed. Some say it is just me. My mother kept on calling me 大番薯。 My neighbour, Florence Auntie kept on saying why I so 'LUN ZHUN' (it means clumsy in some funny dialect).

What happened?
I fell.

What exactly happened?
I was rushing for bus 28 (coz I was late). I was crossing the road to reach the bus stop on the other side. My left foot stepped down into uneven surface, there was a hole. I slipped. I tried to control my foot, but my ankle gave way. I fell, sprawled along the road. Thank God, there was no car.

What I discovered?
I quickly got up. But it was so painful to stand. I hopped onto the sidewalk. Then, I collapsed again, on the sidewalk. And stayed there. There was an overbearing pain on my left ankle. I grabbed at my ankle, holding it, pressing it, twisting it, but the pain was so intense, it was went on and on. I felt tears of pain welling up in my eyes. I sat there for several moments, bearing with it. I tried to stand, and realized I couldn't.
No one came to help. A few meters away was a bus-stop, packed with students and several adults. No one came. I continue to sit there like an idiot. I debated whether to call my mom, or just crawl somewhere first.
Finally, an angel, no la... an auntie in her 50s, who just alighted from the bus, noticed me, and helped me into the bus stop. I was never so thankful.

What now?
I still can't walk. But it is better now, after several agonizing sessions of 推拿 and acupuncture. I tore a few ligaments. Luckily, all my bones are still in tact. The sick thing is:

• I am probably sitting down watching bitterly when everyone's dancing their heart out at the White Bling Bling Bash @ Zouk!
• I am probably going to miss my Aikido demo on 7 Sept.
• I am probably going to sit down to sing for my band performance on 7 Sept.
• I am probably CRIPPLED on my 20th birthday ... ... ... !!!

Some of my friend's response

Elliot: Crippled aikido girl, how are you crippled?
Mei Mei: Aiyo... U ok not... My god. How did it happen?
Joan: Wa lau eh. What happened seriously?
Dorothy: Pls take care n stop looking at boys!
-.-

Jokerz' Sentosa Outing!!!

My new PTL (Part-Time Love), Sham!!!
Cute right?!?

Looks a bit wrong eh?


I lurve de beach.

Jokerz @ Sentosa

It took me three tries to get it right!
The most professional photo of the day.

I LOVE JOKERZ INC (RMIT-SIM)!!!

I am so glad to be part of one of the loudest & coolest gang of RMIT-SIM students. We are called 'JOKERZ INC'. In short, we are the jokers!!! I didn't know what sort of university life to embrace. Well, I am enjoying every minute of it now, even though it's getting stressful. I love you, people. Remember what I want for my birthday present!?! He. He. He. I love good vibrations (like ours).... =P

Jokers oi!
Hahaha.
Jokers oi!
Hahaha.
Jokers OI!
Hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhahahaha!

Check us out on our blog! Jokerz Inc.

JOKER BABES poses on Jaime's birthday!

(Sorry! Never put our JOKER HUNKS photos inside. Soon la. Soon la. Ohhhh... Sham, my new part-time lover!!! )